Special Halloween Edition

In the theme of Halloween this week, I am writing a special Halloween Edition.

On occasion I have been asked, “How does Money on Your Terms
work for couples?”  My answer: All the fundamentals and steps
work the same.  You just work to get rid of the Y in Your and make
it Our.  When couples are able to focus on their money in terms
of a financial team, they are more likely to create the life they’ve
always been dreaming about together.

Let’s face it, money is the number one reason for relationships dying.
Financial misfortune and hardships will continue to happen if
both parties are not on the same page when it comes to money.
Until ‘death do you part’ it will be a struggle.  We all know that
in relationships, opposites usually attract.  You have two parties with
decades of conditioning and different personalities about money.  We just
can’t ignore our money differences.  Thinking you can wave a magic
wand and expect things to work themselves out will be a life of
the living dead.

So, what can couples do to make the Y disappear?  Here are
a few key areas to shine the light on with your flashlight to see
through the fog of your relationship and money.

Lift the Spell
First, you have to be totally open about money.  Communicate.
The quality of your relationship is based on the quality of your
communication.  If you think you can quietly sweep the money
issues under the rug with your broomstick, you are practically
asking for a spell to be placed on you.

Rise From the Dead With a Party
Money can be used to seek power, so the wise thing to
do is never use money to take control in your relationship.
Create a fair spending plan together.  It may take a few
months to adjust to the new plan, but clarity brings things
to life.  Knowing where your money goes every month will
shine a light on the darkness.  Hold spending plan parties at
the beginning and middle of the month to track your spending
to make sure you are on the right track.

You Deserve a Treat
In my book Money on Your Terms, I explain that both parties
are entitled to have their own money to spend freely on goodies.
I call it your Free Fund.  Each month, set a predetermined dollar
amount aside for each of you to buy those treats for yourself that
works within the spending plan, while still giving yourselves the
opportunity to reach your financial goals.

Be the Superheroes in Emergencies
Couples stress levels usually reach the boiling over point
when an unforeseen emergency shows up and there is no
money to cover it.  Be the superheroes by having your emergency
fund in place just in case the transmission goes out, Susie breaks
her arm, or one of you gets laid off.  Work on a goal to save one
month of expenses, then two, then three until you reach seven
months of expenses.  Why seven?  In this economy people on
average are taking six months to find a new job.  Plus, 7 is a lucky
number and a metaphor for success.

Throw a Pitchfork into the Debt Monster
If both of you are going batty because your credit cards are
maxed out, you have two hefty car payments and you barely
are able to stay afloat with your mortgage, chances are this
is causing unrest in your relationship.  The tombstone is placed
in many relationships when debt becomes the problem.  Have
a healthy debt level that is manageable.  Your debt load is
considered healthy if it is 36% of your monthly gross income.
If you have a level higher than 36%, throw a pitchfork into it
now.  It’s time to be the destroyer of that monster called debt.

Working on these key areas will set the foundation for how
you deal with money in your relationship.  Once you get a handle
on this, you can work on a plan to kill your debt completely
and become the king and queen of wealth building.  You want
the relationship to work, so lift your spirits by making money
work for both of you!  When you work together you will increase
your chances of continuously having the moonlight shine on
you and your relationship.  And that’s something to howl about.