When you look at money, you probably think of it as something simple. Money is paper, a piece of metal or a number in your bank account. The goal is to acquire more of it and everything will be ok, right?
Why is it then that money is the number one stressor in people’s lives? Why is it that money ends up being so complicated?
I just read 50 Weird Ways People Go Broke and the article reveals how people make poor financial decisions. Investing in a pyramid scheme, being a cosigner, losing in a restaurant startup, and even living on credit cards are just four examples of the 50 ways people part with their money.
Could all the wrong decisions we make about our finances be our fault?
Not necessarily!
Drs. Ted and Brad Klontz, authors of the book Mind Over Money and financial psychologists working as a father and son team, say our troubled relationships with money aren’t our fault.
Hooray, we finally have someone in our corner to put the blame on something else! Time to break out the champagne and toast to that!
But before popping the cork on the champagne let’s look at what they mean by, “It’s not all our fault.”
Drs. Ted and Brad Klontz in their book talk about the deep-rooted beliefs we have about money, called our Money Scripts. According to the Klontzs, they say our relationship with money is a product of our subconscious beliefs and behavior patterns that started in childhood. These beliefs are formed by watching how our parents and peers dealt with money, or could stem from a painful traumatic experience we had with money, and also comes about by the economic environment we were raised in. A child that comes from a wealthy environment will definitely have acquired different money scripts than a child that is raised in poverty.
Here are some common money scripts I found in the book:
“You can’t trust people around money.”
“Someone else will always take care of me financially.”
“Money is the only measure of your worth.”
“Good people shouldn’t care about money.
“Money is the root of all evil.”
“Being rich will make me a bad person.”
Do you think any of these scripts will improve your financial situation?
How then do you get on the right track to overcome your money woes? You would think the best way is to do something fundamental with your money, like starting an emergency fund or creating a plan to pay down debt. However, getting on the right track consists of taking a look inside and examining the way you were raised with money. Look at the self-defeating beliefs you have about money that are affecting your financial wellbeing today. Once you have awareness of your beliefs about money, you then can rewrite your money scripts that will mentally move you toward a better financial future for yourself.
What are your money scripts?
Start with this simple exercise. Awareness always puts leverage on your side. Take a blank sheet of paper and pen and jot down your money scripts. Let me walk you through the exercise by rewriting a couple of my own old self-defeating money scripts.
My old money scripts:
“Money is the root of all evil.”
“Money does not grow on trees.”
Next you want to cross out those old money scripts and rewrite them in a positive frame that will let you win with money.
My new money scripts:
“Having money in my life is good for me.”
“Of course money does not grow on trees,
but there is plenty of money if I work for
it and make the right decisions with it.”
Once you take the first step by getting a handle on your money scripts by producing ones that are healthy, you can then move toward the fundamentals of planning your finances.
So, do the exercise and then pop the cork and enjoy your newfound beliefs about money, and celebrate with some champagne while you are at it.
In my Money Coaching practice we work on eliminating your old antiquated money scripts and produce refreshing healthy ones that work for you. Contact me at (818) 292-2548 so we can discuss ways you can start your journey toward a healthy relationship with your money
Great,it is as if you knew i was going to handle couples on their finances,God bless you.
What a pleasure having the opportunity to follow Tim Mann over the years. Tim is more than a speaker he’s a doer.
Thanks Joe for the nice comment.