Although it is the most wonderful time of the year,
some people want to spoil it. Don’t let the Grinch
that stole Christmas ruin it for you.
The headlines these days are spattered with news
about bullying. Typically it’s a problem among children
and teens that seems to be reported daily in the news.
However, there is another form of bullying that exists
in our society, and that is financial bullying.
Have you ever been up against a financial bully
in your life? Many professionals think financial
bullying is a domestic issue between couples.
Although the majority of cases happen between
couples, I will take it a step further and say financial
bullying comes in all kinds of forms. It happens at
home, in the work place, or on the phone with debt
collectors. Financial bullies comes in all shapes and sizes.
Maybe your spouse is controlling all the money and does
not give you access to bank accounts. Maybe your boss
is bullying you, which ultimately effects your career and salary.
Maybe you are being hounded by a debt collector calling
you every day. Financial bullies intimidate and manipulate
people to gain control. Never let someone bully you when
it comes to your money. Here are some suggestions to
stamp out financial bullying:
Spouse
Financial bullying in a relationship is more than your
occasional fight over money. Some of the signs are making
someone feel guilty or questioning every dollar spent.
It can also mean withholding money entirely or threatening
to leave or deny financial support. Whatever the issue,
it is the hardest thing to deal with since you are emotionally
tied and living under the same roof. Be open, have a face
to face talk with them and tell them why you entered the
relationship in the first place. You did not envision this
happening. Look them in the eye and say,
“It is Money on Our Terms, together.” It might take several
talks to make a breakthrough. If this doesn’t work, you need
support. Seek counseling immediately whether it is a
marriage and family therapist or a financial coach. If your
spouse refuses to go, which might happen since they
probably think nothing is wrong, then go yourself so you
have someone to guide you, giving you an outside perspective.
If there are no changes taking place with the bullying in
the near future, then make arrangements to move on with
your life, separately. No one should have to put up with
abuse in life.
Workplace Bullying
This can ruin your career and set you back financially.
I was faced with this situation once. I could not take
anymore of my boss’ bullying.
I had three choices:
1. Quit my job and have no paycheck
2. Look for another job
3. Talk to management
I choose option #3 first. I documented everything she
was doing with dates and times. I went to the General Manager
and told him what was going on. He asked me for examples
of what she was doing. I read off all her bullying episodes.
Furthermore, I put leverage on my side by saying I would
go to Human Resources if this situation was not resolved.
It was great to go into work that same afternoon and find
that everything was fixed. In today’s working environment,
no company wants to deal with harassment at any level.
Debt Collectors
Debt collectors want one thing and one thing only: ‘Your Money, Now.’
They will do anything and everything to get it, including calling
you ten times a day at work and home. People would rather go
to the dentist than deal with a debt collector. There are all kinds
of cases settled between debt collectors and victims where the
use of abuse, deception, and breaking the law occurred. Do your
research and study the law so you can have the upper hand
on these abusive collectors. You have many rights in your favor.
Although being accretive with your rights does not make
your debt disappear, it does give you a voice and control.
Visit the Federal Trade Commission’s website: www.ftc.gov to
know your rights.
Here are some of the highlights from the Federal Fair Debt
Collection Practices Act that will help you:
– They can’t harass you by cursing or insulting you and they
are restricted to calling between the hours of 8 a.m. and 9 p.m.
– Collectors may not contact you at work if they’re told (orally or in writing)
that you’re not allowed to get calls there.
– They can’t say that papers they send you are legal forms if they are not.
– They can’t demand that you pay more than you owe.
– They can’t have access to your bank account or garnish wages
without going through the court system (unless it is student loan debt).
I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful holiday season. If you
are currently dealing with financial bullying then make it a point
to take action now, waiting on the sidelines will not improve anything.
You have a voice, so put an end to financial bullying in your life.